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What it takes to be My personal sub outside of sessions

There is not one-way to become my personal submissive outside of session. However, there are many ways that will lead you on a one-track road to never becoming my personal submissive. If you truly want to work hard and achieve this goal, here are some steps to help you on this journey to becoming someone who truly deserves a place at my feet.



Firstly and fore mostly, if you are to become my personal submissive, you must learn what is important to me and the core values I expect you to uphold. These are, if you do not already know them:


· Communication

· Reliability

· Honesty

· Obedience

· Loyalty

· Respect


Without these, you won’t get anywhere with me.


I expect you to work hard and try your very best for me, but this does not mean burning yourself out. The problems that I have seen in many subs is that they are 110% for anywhere between 3 weeks to 3 months before they burn out. Now, if they were to have truly upheld my 6 core values, they would have communicated with me how they were feeling in this respect and we could have addressed it. Instead, because perhaps they were worrying or pushing it aside thinking it was nothing, that little niggle turned into an issue so problematic that they lost any chance of ever being my personal submissive again.


Communication is key, I cannot stress this enough. Now, for all you boys out there, I know full well that for the majority of you, communication is not your forte. Though this is the case now, it must become your forte. No if’s, no buts, no excuses. I will train you along the way.


If you are able to uphold my core values, you are well on your way to becoming my personal submissive.


Managing expectations is something that we do in our everyday lives but for some reason, subs often forget to do in the BDSM context. Manage your expectations. I am not here to serve you, you are here to serve me and you must remember that. Not only, but I do not require subs to become my personal house maid and clean my house, nor do I want you to ever enter my house. Only subs who I have known for a long time and whom I trust to the utmost do I give such a privilege. So know your place and manage your expectations.

Now, for a little lesson on what not to do:

DO NOT keep mentioning that you want to become my personal sub. This is one of the most infuriating things that I hear on a regular basis from people I barely if not not know at all. How on Earth can someone want to become a personal submissive to someone they do not know or have not even met? Being a personal sub is much more than just cleaning my shoes and being my personal organiser. You will get to spend time with me that others do not. You will see me outside of session and know more information than the average Joe that walks in through my dungeon door. Therefore, I must be able to trust you- loyalty, reliability, honesty.

Being my personal submissive is not for the faint of heart. If you don’t have the metal to become one, don’t even bother starting.


My advice, for those who wish to become my personal submissive, is first and fore mostly not to overthink it. Don’t try and think of the end goal and instead focus on what is important in the immediate. If you are selfish and your goals are just to make yourself satisfied, I will see straight through you. That is not the kind of relationship I want to develop. You must work hard to make me happy, upholding my core values and that must be your priority.

So, for those of you who still need further direction, this is what you can do:

· Book in regular sessions so that we can start building our rapport.

· Buy me a nice gift or send a tribute to show your appreciation. Do something thoughtful.

· Ask to take me out on a dinner encounter (which includes a tributed rate).

· Do as I tell you! If I tell you to respond to me with feedback, then do it. If I tell you to improve on something, then do it!

· Show me support on Twitter and ask to join #TeamAkari.

· Show me consistency.


If you take heed of what is written here, you will be well on your way to impressing me. Let’s see how well you do ;)


~ Empress Akari

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