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BDSM as a Form of Therapy Part 1: The Root

Many of us have experienced trauma in our lives, whether it is ‘minor’ or not, is not under contention. What matters is that it was traumatic to you. We all have different ways of dealing with said trauma. Some go to therapy, some use drink or drugs as a way of coping, others use BDSM.

 

One of the many wonderful things that I have discovered on my journey as a Dominant is that BDSM has many purposes, erotic and otherwise. Many have come to me seeking solace in the embrace of a whip or role play. In this extremely diverse world of BDSM, comes the diversity of the ways in which we each use it. On this particular topic, I will be discussing BDSM as a form of therapy, the root cause of it.

 




I myself am not a trained psychologist, however I have experienced many years of helping people through their various traumas by way of masochism, fetishes, with the overriding umbrella of BDSM. Now, I want to state that not everyone uses it for this purpose, but indeed people can and do. I highly encourage it.

 

I am aware that there are many people out there who do not even know that they are using it for therapeutic purposes. Take a very well-known example. Those who were born before the 1980’s and the early 2000’s in the UK, were caned in schools. This was deemed ‘normal’ back then, but what I can only assume as a lack of care or foresight, is that they did not see what the knock-on effects would be when these children became adults. As some of these people got older, the fetishism for caning became so pronounced that this itch had to be scratched, thereby seeking Dominatrices to do what only Dominatrices and teachers could do best, caning. I am sure it was quite obvious where this fetish came from, but I think the main question to be answered here today, is why?

 




From extensive communications I have had with my subs and research I have done, I have found that people who experience trauma as a child often have this trauma arise in adulthood, albeit in a different form- eroticism. That negative association (not always and not for everyone) gets shifted in the brain to become one of eroticism in the form of fetishism/kink. Our brain truly is a fascinating entity. Neuroscience suggests that it is due to the desire for our subconscious to protects ourselves, thereby turning traumatic negative experiences into ones which we can cope and manage with. Note that this is not a blanket response to all of our traumas and in many cases, this does not happen, however in the case that I am discussing today, it does.

 

There are fetishes and kinks that some people have and they have no idea where it comes from, only if they really think about it are they are able to glean a memory or thought of where it may come from. I know for some, it may not even seem traumatic to them, looking back as an adult. But our child brain does not perceive things the same way an adult does, and therefore how we then process it is different as well.

 

I do think it is important to be able to express the rawness of a person’s submission and be able to fully let go. We both know that this takes time and most importantly trust, but this can be built with the right person. If you feel as though this speaks to you, take the time to find someone that is right for you and communicate your feelings to them in an appropriate manner. Chemistry, understanding and consent is important for both parties.

 

In following parts of ‘BDSM as therapy’, I will be covering other nuances such as ‘How to use BDSM as therapy’, ‘Drawing strength from BDSM’ and ‘Safe ways to use BDSM as therapy’.

 

 

N.B. This not a replace professional advice.

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