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How to approach a Domme when going for your first session

Updated: Oct 28, 2020

It’s good to note that different Dommes have different requirements and ways that they prefer you to approach them. Therefore it’s important to read up about the Domme that you wish to visit and see if there are any particulars that you should duly note.

I and every Domme expects respect when being approached, there are no concessions with this. If you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking ‘but of course’. Unfortunately not everyone thinks like this. It is often best to ask them how they would like to be approached if it isn’t already blatantly obvious on their website. Most Dommes have a preferred way of contact. I for instance prefer the contact form on my website or email. Other’s may prefer texting or phone calls or other methods of contact.

Remember, you can’t make a first impression twice.

Image by Start up Stocks

Once you know which method to use to initiate contact, go ahead with your initial email. One piece of advice, for gods sake know what you want or think you want before initiating contact. Don’t send something like ‘I want to get dominated’ or ‘I don’t really know what I want, can you just do whatever?’ This shows a lack of thought and lack of effort. Don’t be that guy. So, how best to lay out your email or message or even phone call? I can’t speak for everyone, but for myself, I prefer: - Name & age - If the Dominant offers various types of sessions, as I do myself, specify which one(s) e.g. the BDSM Encounter, Rendezvous, tasks etc. - What you are interested in and your limits (say if you don’t know what they are yet) - What dates/times you are able to attend said session - How you are able to pay a deposit (if you are not able to pay a deposit and she requires one you may not be able to see your chosen Domme. For most, it shows an unwillingness to give on your part) - End with a polite message. It’s best to note that in an initial email, don’t make it too long, she doesn’t want to spend 15 minutes reading about your childhood and how you got to this point, that can come later when you get to know each other! If you are unsure as to what your kinks are just yet but you have an idea of what they might be, make this clear to the Domme so that when (hopefully) you meet, she can work her magic. If you’re uncertain of anything, make sure to do your research. Read her website, her Twitter feed, anything relevant that may help you get your foot in the door. Remember, most Dommes are very approachable and appreciate the fact that you have made an effort. That effort goes a long way when you eventually meet her and she can see the work and effort that you’ve put in. Trust me, I’m always far more impressed by subs who’ve done their homework than those who have not! So, this just about covers everything in making the initial contact. If you’re nervous, it’s understandable, but don’t worry, we don’t bite, unless you make us 😉 ~ Empress Akari

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