Safety 101: Bondage pt.1 Simple Rope & Cuff Restraints

Bondage is such a huge kink, it’s a tough subject to cover to completion in just one post and so I’ll be making several posts about it as a guide.

As a new Domme, it is important to do your research when it comes to safety, after all, you will literally be having people’s balls in the palm of your hand! Therefore it’s important to know the do’s and don’ts. No one expects you to know everything straight away, but they at least expect you to know the general safety rules when it comes to bondage, as well as the other areas of BDSM but I’ll get into that in future posts.

So, what is bondage exactly? You probably know that it’s to do with tying people up or restraining them, bondage of the mind, their different body parts in various positions, but which positions are safe and which are not?

As a new Domme, it’s probably a good idea to stay away from Shibari/Kinbaku for instance if you don’t know what you’re doing, but of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t tie your subs up with rope, you just need to know the safety procedures.

Image from KenHub

When looking at a diagram of the human body and where the nerves are placed, you can see that there are many major nerves running in various delicate areas of the body. It might be a bit daunting looking at a diagram for the first time and thinking god, I have to remember all that? No, you don’t have to remember where every nerve is placed, but it is good practice to remember where all of the major nerves are grouped so that you know to be gentle with them and also avoid certain areas. We’ll focus on a diagram of the front of the body in this post and focus on the back of the body in the subsequent post. You can see that there are nerves running from the neck to the finger tips, these are very important ones to remember as you’ll be tying people up a lot in the wrist area. When using cuffs of rope, it is a good rule of thumb to leave about a 1-2 finger gap between the cuff and their wrist. Meaning that you should be able to put 1 or 2 of your fingers between that gap. This is so that the cuffs or rope won’t press against their nerves when held in some positions. Your subs may be in certain positions for long periods time, for example with their hands above their head. It is important to note that it is very easy to cause nerve damage in this position if their hands are kept in that position for too long and they are not moving their wrists and fingers. It’s important to make your sub aware of the fact that they may/probably will start to get pins and needles in their hands, it is therefore important that you make them aware of this so that you can take the appropriate measures, which I’ll get onto in a bit. It’s also good advice to tell them to keep their fingers/wrists moving so that they can stay in that position for longer periods of time. I know that some subs may be so into the scene that they completely forget about their hands, which eventually leads them to going numb. Going numb can equate nerve damage in some cases, so it’s good practice to keep checking in to make sure that they haven’t forgotten about their fingers! It's also good to keep in mind that some subs are just stubborn or have a big ego and they'll think, 'I can keep going even though my hands are starting to go numb'. So it's good to keep checking and also make them aware of the reason why it's good to leave their ego at the door. If and/or when a submissive tells you that his fingers are starting to tingle/go numb, don't panic! You have time. Also, it's important to show them that you are in control and that you knew that this could/would happen. Therefore, tell them to keep their fingers and wrists moving and take their arms down so that they can move them about a bit before you put them back up, if you decide to do so. It's also a good idea to have a feel of their hands at the beginning of the session before putting them into a certain position. This is so that you can get a baseline for their skin temperature as well as the skin colour of their hands, so that when they're not paying attention, you can have a check. The same rule generally applies to the ankles. You want to be aware of the Achilles heel, this area is particularly sensitive so you want to make certain that you don’t have the cuffs of rope pressing against it too hard. If you’re going to have their legs/feet lifted to a 90-degree angle, you want to keep in mind the same rule as above, but with their feet and toes. The toes are more resistant than the fingers, but it’s good to keep it in mind. I hope you've enjoyed reading this post and have found it useful! Next post is about bondage and nerves on the back of the body 😘 ~ Empress Akari